I've got this thing that I do when I'm under extreme stress, which is that I'll get into this really goofy and silly and jokey mood. It's a way to blow off pressure, I guess. I know that it won't last and doesn't mean I'm out of the woods or even necessarily past the worst of it, but it definitely beats feeling like shit, so I think I'm just going to ride it out and enjoy it. I just flustered the crap out of some poor shy virgin over at the MMSL forums. She's reading this right now and wondering if I'm just being an ass or trying to game her or what. (Don't think I don't see you reading this.) I'm a bad, bad man. RedPillWifey knows what I'm talking about.
Maybe it's just the relief of having the uncertainty of the thing finally resolved, but I'm feeling pretty excited about the future again. Maybe I WILL have to move into a crappier place without L to pick up half the rent, but it'll be MY place. There's something to be said for that. I'll have new neighbors to meet, get to meet new people in general, including new women when I feel ready, and I can take some time to figure out who I am, in and of myself, by myself. There's something to be said for that, too.
That's all for later, though. Right now, it's a matter of getting out of a bad situation while the getting's good. Got some empty boxes from work, my sister getting L out of the house on Saturday, my Dad lending me his truck, and my brother-in-law lending me his ability to lift the other half of heavy things with me. Hoping we'll be able to get the biggest stuff out of there, plus get a start on packing up some of the smaller stuff and get into the office to get myself taken off the lease.
Our two big pieces of mutually-owned furniture are the couch and the bed. I'm thinking I'll offer her the latter and try to take the former. I really, REALLY like that bed, it is quite literally the comfiest bed I have ever had the pleasure of sleeping on, but she's the one with back problems so she should probably have it. And anyway, that couch is a really nice piece of furniture too. Everything else furniture-wise is either obviously mine or obviously hers: my desk, mine, dining table and chairs, mine, TV and stand, mine, various end tables and cabinets, hers. I don't anticipate any arguments there.
Not quite sure how to handle the pet custody situation. Black Cat was her first love long before I came into the picture, so that one's a no-brainer. White Cat came around about a year after we moved in together. I'll probably wind up taking him. He'll be heartbroken at being separated from Black Cat, but she'll be ecstatic: she hates him and he has Stockholm Syndrome. He loves L too, but he's always been a total daddy's boy at heart. Only problem is that my dad will NOT be happy at taking on another roommate, so I may have to seek out an interim catsitter until I find my own place, which carries additional problems; anyone I can think of who would take care of a pet already has one, and while he's totally fine with strange people, he does NOT get on with strange animals.
In other news, I bought a guitar. Total impulse buy, totally irresponsible considering I should be socking money away for a security deposit on a new place, but what the hell. I'm single, still pretty young, and I've got no kids and (pretty soon) no woman tying me down. I can splurge on something stupid if I want, and a new hobby (something a little more Alpha than Torchlight 2) is probably just the sort of stupid thing I need. In the abstract, I've always felt that everyone should learn how to play an instrument (even if they suck) and speak a foreign language (even if they suck) in order to have a well-rounded life, but I've done a pretty piss-poor job of following my own advice.
So that's my shit for today. Check in with me tomorrow and I'll probably be a sobbing mess again, but whatever. Gonna ride this mood out and see where it takes me.
Edit: While proofreading this post, I received an email from L's father, who I jokingly refer to as my Father-in-Commonlaw. It seems he's been in communication with L and it sounds like she's coming around to the idea that it really is over between us. He was very kind and sympathetic. There goes my stupid fake happy-go-lucky exterior, I'm tearing up again. That's not always a bad thing either, though. He and his wife have always been very kind and loving toward me and it's only right to grieve for the fact that my relationship with them will change as my relationship with their daughter ends.